very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved. Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? Stephen's essay is very effective. Bridget starts each paragraph with a clear signpost of where we are in time: Paragraph 1: after a long day in first grade Paragraph 2: in elementary school Paragraph 3: seven years down the road Paragraph 4: when I was a freshman in high school.
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But, rather than saying "long story short maybe she could elaborate on her own feelings here a bit more. Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back. Remember to include your speech defending King George or supporting Patrick Henry, following the instructions in the lesson. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. The waters on fire! It helps that the metaphor is a very clear one: people who work with students with disabilities are making the world better one abstract fix at a time, just like imaginary Fixer-Uppers would make the world better one concrete physical fix at a time.